Identity Shifted

shifted

Shifted Identities

What happens when one day you “wake up” and feel like your identity shifted?

In some situations it may not be a bad thing.

Purposeful practice of habits that will help you integrate positive behaviors in to your life can lead you to a positive place.

A place that you are aware of.

There are other times when life can be taken over by one thing and everything else slips away because of it.

This happens without much awareness.

Any awareness you may have, you try and ignore.

It can leave you feeling guilty and full of regret.

Most people would rather ignore or bury those feelings, rather than experience them.

Aha Moment

The day when you wake up is that “aha!” moment. Or it’s rock bottom, etc.

It’s the day when you look around and see that the shift in your identity was something you completely missed.

You are no longer the person you were a little while ago and it is time to get to know the person you are now.

Staring a new job is a big life shift that can impact how you see yourself.

It happens gradually and then after six months or so, you notice new things about yourself.

The same thing happens when you start a new training program, or activity.

There is usually a culture that goes along with a gym, or a group of people who train together.

Over time you adapt and it becomes part of how you express yourself.

If you ever find yourself in a place where your are not happy with how life is, consider what has brought you to where you are.

Then think about what needs to change.

What you like about how you stay active and train in your current life?

Yes, I want online training!

Finding Kindness Through Curiosity

curiosity humanity

Curiosity As Kindess

I have been thinking about how to relate to ideas and people you do not agree with.

Finding their humanity may be one way to do so.

What is it about them, as a human, that you relate too.

To discover this, try being curious about why they hold the point of view they do.

Understanding Their Logic

Asking questions to help you understand their logic and how it resulted in the conclusion that they arrived at.

This does not mean that you have to agree with it, but it is enlightening.

There seems to be a fear that if you can see the other person’s point of view, it means that you agree with it.

Is that true?

Just because you can understand how someone came to a conclusion, it should not automatically mean that you agree with the conclusion.

Empathy can mean “sympathy with” or “identification with”.

But it can also mean “understanding of”, “sensitivity toward” and “sensibility to”.

Or, colloquially, it means “to walk a mile in someone’s shoes”.

A lot of debate today circles around the outcome, or proposed solution to a situation, or problem.

Nutrition science has many such cases.

Talk with anyone who believes and focuses on one diet, and they will point to science that backs up their point of view.

If you take a close look at the science, there can be reasons as to why it applies in certain cases.

But there are also cases it doesn’t apply directly to…

“What is the goal, or the outcome”, and “Who is trying to achieve the goal/outcome” are two very important questions to consider.

When Thomas and I explored eating Paleo after reading Rob Wolff’s book, we both experienced it differently from each other, or friends of ours.

Each Story Is True

Thomas did not care for it when we were following the diet in the Rob’s book.

For the amount of exercise he was doing it was not enough calories to recover well and maintain the needed energy for his activity level.

We read the diet chapter over again. It made us realize the diet was for people who were just getting back into fitness and looking to quick start to a new way of eating.

That was not the case for us.

For me, Paleo also fed into my need for control.

It wasn’t a good thing…

It took me down a rabbit hole that I would have been better off missing. But, instead, my project lasted a year and half.

A friend of ours felt so horrible she only lasted 3 weeks!

By then she had been physically impacted to the point where her chosen path was interfering with work and everyday family life.

She decided Paleo was not for her.

I spent most of my free time making sweets and treats, the Paleo way.

That this mindset wasn’t going to help me in the long run didn’t hit me until later.

On the other hand, some people live by it and feel great!

Who am I to say that they are not experiencing what they claim, because of my own outcome and conclusion?

I could tell them what they claim is not real…

This approach would probably result in alienating them.

Exploring why they have the experiences they report together will help me understand their point of view and what matters to them.

I will still be honest. I can let them know that even if I understand why it apparently works for them, this understanding doesn’t change anything about my own experience with the style of eating.

Hopefully this will help them see the humanity in me.

What issues do you discuss where finding humanity is more important than insisting on a conversion to your point-of-view?

Think of training conversations you may had too. Cheers!!

Yes, I want online training!

Celebrate With a Surprise

celebrate-Ishmael Orendain [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

What is your favorite way to celebrate…anything?

This is a big year of celebrations in my family.

There is a 50th and an 80th birthday, plus a 25th anniversary.

Big milestone numbers.

There has been a bit of discussion around how to celebrate.

My goal is always to help make the day a little special.

Do not want to forget, but do not want to go crazy overboard either.

I like to gather and hang out.

Maybe have a nice meal, a toast or two, and cake.

Love the cake!

Does it Matter

Does celebrating matter to you?

In some ways it matters to me, in other ways it does not.

For me, it does not make what is being celebrated better…

It is fun to do something different, but I know that regardless of what celebration happens, time keeps on turning and those days will come and go anyway.

Doesn’t matter if I am on the couch watching TV, or with my family hanging out.

The anniversary or birthday will come and go.

I like to celebrate other people, but find celebrating myself a bit hollow.

My expectations are never meet, even when I try not have any.

Being the center of attention is very draining for me.

Maybe, if I get to an age that I did not expect to achieve and feel good in my body, a celebration might feel right for once?

Enjoy The Positive Today

Celebrate every day with a little positive moment.

Dance a little, laugh a little, share time with those you care about.

Why save up a celebration for a certain time or date?

Celebrate a little everyday.

Cheers too getting in a training session. Doing a little dance!

Yes, I want online training!

Acceptance Of Your Self

acceptance-© Nevit Dilmen [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)]

Finding Self Acceptance

The importance of self acceptance can be misunderstood.

We all want to have days where we feel great and joyous.

How can we do that without self acceptance?

Finding the headspace to be thankful, happy, and hopeful requires negative self-talk to be at a minimum.

I think this is why I enjoy novelty and adventure.

When being caught up in the new of an experience, it is easier to be in the moment and out of my head.

Not that it always works…

I remember being at a Muse concert and being more concerned with a family member we invited to the experience than I was with my own.

There were moments when I got up in the music with fellow “Musers”, but then I would return to “I hope they like it”, etc.

Giving Away Responsibility

It is important to recognize that you can give a recommendation, create something and share it, or express an opinion.

But, if someone else chooses to do, or believe something based on what you said, that is their choice.

Letting go of the responsibility ends there, correct?

Unfortunately, this can be debatable. Just look at vaccinations.

Plenty of people hold strong beliefs that vaccinations are worse than the illnesses they are trying to prevent.

Then there is science, with repeated studies stating the opposite.

Now that we have outbreaks of illnesses that were once under control, the question of requiring vaccinations is coming up.

How much responsibility lies with those who have more power, celebrity, and social weight for the outcomes resulting from them sharing their belief (coming out against vaccination)?

What about a healthy, unvaccinated child’s death from a preventable illness?

Does the individual parent hold the responsibility for listening to a source that they believed credible?

Accepting Yourself

If you do not take on the weight of the world when you share something about yourself it is easier to share.

Wanting to share something can help you uncover what is important to you.

Accepting those thoughts and behaviors can provide space to experience positive emotions.

What do you think? Is it complicated, or simple to accept yourself and share yourself with others? Why?

When training today think about which thoughts about training you would care to share with someone else. Cheers!!

Yes, I want online training!

Inclusivity With Words

inclusivity
Notice It’s Friday and we will be conducting a fitness test during your workout.

Creating Inclusivity

Can you create a feeling of inclusivity with the words that you choose?

Why is being inclusive important?

It can be very easy to think that through the words you use, you can make yourself appear smarter and more of an expert.

But what happens when what you are trying to say is not understood?

Your message gets lost and the reader can be left feeling “less than”.

Was that your intention?

Most likely not.

People I meet, who want to share an idea, want to be understood.

They may realize that people sometimes do not agree with what they say, but they at least want to know the audience got their meaning.

Why It Matters

Part of being on a journey of movement, food, and feeling good is sharing what you learn as you progress down your path.

Being able to tell people what has worked for you and why it did can be helpful for you and them.

Friends and family will start asking questions as soon as they see a change in you.

Using scientific words to that audience to describe what you are doing, well the message tends to get lost.

They turn away and get interested in other things, because they simply do not get what you are on about.

Training and eating right is already challenging.

Framing the specifics in stories that only make sense to other trainers, or pros in the know, do not help your friends and family.

If one of them gets interested at a deeper level, you will know by the questions they ask.

Still, keeping it simple makes the conversation more open and accessible to a wider audience.

Who do you think really needs to learn and understand the knowledge nuggets you have accumulated during your journey?

The person who is into reading text books, getting certs, and talking sports science?

It is more likely your nephew, aunt, mom, or close friend from book club.

The people who really struggle to put it in context and make it matter to them.

Besides practicing inclusivity in any way helps to see it in other areas of life.

What word do you use to describe being active? Does that make a difference to you and who you are talking to?

Jump in to do your progress test, then talk about it. Cheers!!

Notice It’s Friday and we will be conducting a fitness test during your workout.

Yes, I want online training!

A Little Break

break

Taking a Little Break

Take a little break by hitting the pause button.

Sometimes, in order to move forward, you need to slow down.

Take a breather, see if what you passed by comes up and smacks you in the back of the head with inspiration.

It is easy to get in a groove and blast by other parts of life.

Focusing so much on one part, you miss the other parts.

Sit Down and Look Around

Feel your surroundings, let them pull you out of your head and into the real world.

As someone who lives with self commentary non-stop, one of the only ways to not hear my own thoughts is to feel what I am standing on, how my clothes feel against my skin.

Sitting in a quiet place and consciously relaxing my body from head to toes can stop the noise inside my head.

Give it a try and see what happens. Maybe you do not need to stop the noise, but have something else that being in the now will give you.

Get into your movements while training and see if it gives you the same result. Cheers!!

Yes, I want online training!

Visions Of The Future

visions-Mukumbura [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Visions Of What Could Be

Dancing visions in your head of what the future could be.

Is creating a vision of what you would like to be a smart way to live?

This is a difficult thing to answer.

On one side there is the idea of living in reality and being comfortable with where you are at.

There is power in accepting and loving yourself as is.

Yet, there is also power wanting to improve and get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Two Good Options

In a way you have two good options to choose from.

It is possible to do both, I would think.

Finding ways to love and be comfortable with where you are in life, but still wanting to improve sounds like the best of both options.

Each way of being can be a great way of living.

Being content isn’t a bad thing.

Feelings of joy and happiness can come from contentedness.

Excitement and feelings of growth can come from working towards improving yourself.

Just like exercising, or training for an event works better in stages, so might life.

A piece of mind can come from not being so strict about how life “should” be lived.

When you feel an abundance of energy, maybe it’s time to consider adding or learning something new.

Feeling run down and tired?

Spend a little time taking stock of what works for you and enjoying the comfort that exist in your life.

Is today a day to get comfort from the familiar, or to try something new in training? Cheers!

Yes, I want online training!

Stoic Mindset, Hmmmm

stoic-Danae Theoharis [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

Stoic Is What?

Stoic is defined as;

a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.

Google Dictionary

Is “not showing your feelings” the same as “not feeling”?

I do not think so.

Is it unauthentic?

That, I think, is a personal call.

Since I am sensitive to other people’s emotions, it would be great if being stoic was more of a thing.

These days emotion seem to be used as a weapon.

There is so much shared outrage over small to big things.

If a person feels it, they have a real choice to express their outrage to a wide audience.

Responsible Emotions

Being selective about sharing emotions could be considered responsible.

There is a difference between feeling it and emoting it, but choosing not to express it.

Growing up with a person who did not know how to express anger, but you knew when they were angry, gives me an understanding of emoting feelings.

The silent treatment is an expression of emotion, even if it is not being verbally expressed.

Can a person feel an emotion, recognize the emotion and decide what to do with it, without expressing it?

I think with practice a person can do this. In meditation it is called equanimity.

Maintaining calmness, especially in difficult situations.

Sound familiar?

Cutting Anger

Feeling anger towards getting cut off or seeing somebody jump in line is something we all face.

Filling in the backstory of why someone cut in can help ease that anger.

It is a minor annoyance in your day.

Does it really need to impact the rest of it?

How we choose to react to our feelings of anger is all on us.

Maybe recognition of the emotion is enough. Something like this;

“Yeah, that person cutting line sure made me feel angry.

But that is over now and I do not need to feel that anymore.”

By the time you are out the door, you have moved on with your day.

Sounds nice. 🙂

Something to contemplate while training... Cheers!!

Yes, I want online training!

Staying Ignorant, Good Plan?

ignorant

Ignorant Bliss

Can bliss come from being ignorant about the world?

I was listening to a pod cast and the interviewer remarked on how happy the interviewee always seemed to be.

The interviewee claimed that a big part of his happiness came from avoiding the headlines about culture and politics in the world.

He didn’t get caught up in other people’s drama, or allow himself to aggravated about things he could not control or impact.

Just like there are people who live for the outrage, he lived to ignore all that causes the outrage.

Focus on What Matters

What mattered to him? He son, mom, friends, work buddies…the people in his life.

The people he could help, and who bring him a smile each day.

This all makes sense…right.

Those are the things that matter to him. Things that are real and he can be part of.

What do you consider important?

How does it impact your emotional life?

When you train today, will you feel better or no different when done?

Yes, I want online training!

Finding ways To Thrive

thrive

Thrive Your Way

Looking for ways to thrive and not just get by.

Since I started this new position I have lived to just get by.

This was a drastic change from putting most of my focus on how to be healthy through nutrition, exercise, and mentally.

All of a sudden, I was faced with the average day of my clients.

Working their butts off to make sure they performed well at their jobs and taking care of their families.

The energy needed, and even the idea of taking care of myself seems like a bit too much.

Even though I know doing that will make everything else soo much easier.

A Little Here, A Nudge There

I have been starting to nudge myself into doing things I know are a bit better for me.

Adding in a little mediation again. Trying to calm my mind to help with sleep and energy.

My nutrition needs to step it up a little more.

It seems to be a challenge just to get the grocery shopping in!

Then once the groceries are in the house, taking the time to make something to eat is a different challenge.

I do pretty well with breakfast, as long as I have the ingredients.

Lunch is still a struggle, unless I have left-overs.

Dinner is a hit or a miss altogether.

Tonight it was “breakfast for dinner”.

Which I do like, a lot.

The desire to do more to make things change faster is real.

It is important to keep in mind that change feels a lot more taxing than coasting along on your current habits.

So keeping it simple can help keep things going.

I am not as concerned about “changing” as I am about finding a way to thrive in my current life.

Find a way to have more energy for doing the things I enjoy and being with the people I care for.

What makes you feel as if you are thriving in your life right now?

Do a little training for a bit of energy boost. Cheers!!

Yes, I want online training!